I became empty.

The tears splashed into oceans, the waves cascaded through my heart. I fought for deliverance. I asked for forgiveness. 

I have been always able to tell who people were from what I saw.

I have, all my life, acted innocent, happy, silly, stupid. 

But I can’t seem to hold onto the veneer of idiocy anymore, the real ugliness of my nature is fighting through. Pushing past barriers, and now I am myself. 

Cold. Indifferent. Calculating. 

Smiles have melted away, I wish I was kind again.

I wish I was stupid again.

I wish I could love again.